Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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