Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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