so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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