dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize