just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize