I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm getting married
To pizza
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
