half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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