last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize