your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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