doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
