he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize