grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We have started to decorate penises.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
