just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
