I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize