I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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