Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
