we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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