You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
