He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
