I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i was born a porn star she said
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
