maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So much rum. So many feels.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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