coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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