Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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