I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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