yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize