Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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