i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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