do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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