So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
