I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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