Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
