And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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