Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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