hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
