CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
