i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize