3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
