I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
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There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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