planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
