It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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