There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize