I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
