I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I cut my penus on the lid.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize