just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
