How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize