Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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