The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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