I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize