handjob tips. give me some.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
