We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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