when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize