she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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