What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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