Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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