You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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