you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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