I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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