Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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