I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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