my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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