So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
